“I’m not your best friend.”
Those were the words Frank said to me the other day. In our usual style, I quickly retorted, “No worries, you aren’t mine either.”
And with that, we went back to watching TV.
It was Friday night and I was watching one of my fav guilty pleasures – Say yes to the dress. You know, the “reality show” at a New York bridal boutique. It’s a mix of so many things I love – wedding dresses, family dynamics, and most of all, parties. (Have I told you how much I LOVE parties? When I grow up I hope to be a party planner!!)
Back to SYTTD. Like every reality show, it follows a script that begins with the consultant asking the bride to talk about the groom. And 9.5 times out of 10, the bride says, “He’s my best friend. I love him so much.”
This is what led Frank to clarify things for me. But, it actually left me thinking: if we weren’t best friends, what, then, were we?
Legally, he’s my husband. But since the word “wife” leaves me feeling like a trapped animal wanting to escape back to the wild (even after almost 12 years of marriage), it wouldn’t be fair to bestow that title on him.
He’s my babies’ daddy. True, but I’m not sure he’d appreciate that either.
The best word I’ve come up with is partner. Not romantic and definitely not sexy, but very much on point for us. For the last several days, I’ve turned the word over and over in my head. I’ve even said it aloud several times to see if it felt right rolling off my tongue. It does.
We have shared goals, we expect the same things from each other, and even though we have set “jobs,” that doesn’t hold us back from jumping in when needed. By no means have we perfected balance, but we try really hard to stay flexible. Sometimes it works and sometimes, well, it just doesn’t.
If we weren’t partners, I don’t think we could have survived this parenting thing, at least as much as we have so far. Nor, would I have been able to continue to do all the things I love to do as a working mama. Plus – and this is a HUGE one – my girls and Frank wouldn’t have the relationship they have today. It’s just so wonderful and beautiful.
Now I’d lie to you if becoming partners in parenting was easy. It takes time and some patience, for both sides. Some trial and error, too. The good thing, you can start at anytime, but the beginning is always a good place. This is why today’s episode of The Crazy Good Life shares some ways you can help your baby’s daddy be the father you and your baby need.
Now I’d love to hear from you. In the comments, tell us how your partner gets involved in baby duty in the early days and today?
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